By Leesa Harker
Leesa Harker's superb Liverpool-based parody of fifty colors tells of the adventures of White Lightning-swigging Maggie Muff, who meets Mr enormous on the Dole Tall, darkish and shaggable he might be, yet his pursuits are faraway from traditional, and while he introduces Maggie to the pink Room of discomfort she realises that she can have bitten off greater than she will chew.If you are looking for books like 50 colors of gray, yet wish anything funnier, filthier and set within the center of Liverpool, this can be the proper e-book for you. the foundation for the sell-out play, starring Dannielle Malone.
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Extra info for 51 Shades of Maggie, Liverpool Style. A Liverpool parody of Fifty Shades of Grey
I was wailin like a banshee … I’m sure old Bobby downstairs was twiddlin his sausage listenin to us! An Mr Big was so big! Like a tripod. An eye-waterin barge-pole. Made Big Billy Scriven’s look like an acorn. After we’d finished, Mr Big was puttin his shirt on an I saw all these red marks on his chest. An I said to him, ‘What’s that there on you? ’ And he said, ‘Ah, no. I’ll tell you about those another time. Now I must go. ’ Then I said, ‘I’ll have a red ring of pain in the mornin, babe. ’ Then he left me to it, an I hadn’t even a fag to sit an have cos Big Sally-Ann had nicked my last pack of duty free.
8) I will not lend Margaret to any other Dominant. ) 9) All sex toys will be kept clean and hygienic. (They don’t need cleaned. ) 10) Margaret will not look into the eyes of the Dominant – she will keep her eyes down. ) 11) Margaret will go to the gym four times a week. ) 12) Margaret will not smoke, drink alcohol or take drugs. (Do one. ) 13) Margaret will not touch me unless I say that she can. (Try and stop me, babe. ) An then I was moist again. But I wasn’t sure what to do about this contract so I told him I would have to think about it.
Well, the contract was a load of old shite. Here’s what it said. 1) Margaret will allow me to punish her on a daily basis without as much as a whimper coming from her cutely bitten lip. ) 2) Margaret will eat three meals a day. These will be foods agreed by me. Any extra portions will be agreed by me. No junk food or snacking allowed. (Boss! How will he know if I get a KFC or not? ) 3) Margaret will get waxed regularly and have any other beauty treatments that I want her to have. ) 4) I will provide clothing expenses for Margaret and choose what she wears and when.